It sometimes takes a wet old night
To grab the pen and start to write
Those notes which, in default of rain,
Just tend to linger in the brain.
PM, be careful what you seek,
As you begin your stressful week.
Be heedful of the risks you take
With those decisions you will make.
*
First, Huawei, you must now contrive
To choose who’s going to do G5;
Depending on which side you jump,
You’ll piss off Xi, or anger Trump.
And if you piss off Xi, I bet
You’ll irritate the cabinet;
And nice though angering Trump might be,
He’s not an autocrat like Xi.
Though Xi does not contrive to sicken
Us, (through chlorinated chicken).
*
On Tuesday, you are overdue
To toss the coin on HS2.
‘Heads’ we lay down rail and wires
And anger Tories in the shires;
But ‘tails’ we chuck it in the creek,
And tell the business world you’re weak.
Ambition and adventure spiked
On always needing to be liked.
*
On Wednesday, you will be the owner
Of some decision on Corona.
You’ll tell us we will see no harm
If we stay put, and we stay calm;
With everyone afraid to sneeze
And all our colleges Chinese,
You’ll have to reassure the land
That someone, somewhere’s got this planned.
*
And that’s without the other range
Of stuff, like Cladding, Climate Change
And Miss Zaghari-Ratcliffe, who
Is still abroad, in prison, too;
And Harry Dunn, the SNP,
The NHS and BBC;
And stuff that by the rules of Tweet
Ends up somewhere in Downing Street;
Ends up, like some divine burlesque
In some dull in-tray on your desk.
No, far from being what it seemed
In far off Eton, when you dreamed
Of following Churchill’s line to be
In charge of UK (PLC),
The job is frankly not much fun
When everything is said and done.
*
And Thursday night was meant to be
The night when Brexit ‘set us free’,
When we could celebrate in song,
And ‘’bung a bob for Big Ben Bong’’.
Good luck, and always keep that smile;
I hope the wait was worth the while.
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