With apologies to Don Mclean, and the most brilliant song ever written
Long long time ago
I can still remember when
Mr Cameron had a smile:
He would give us all the chance
To go alone or stick with France
And maybe we’d stop whingeing for a while
But something made me hide a tear
When both sides brought out Project Fear
Lies and indecision
No side had a vision
I can’t remember details now
Of a purple bus and a sacred cow
But something made me wonder how
When Boris…. first appeared
So
Bye bye to your pie in the sky
It was funny at first now it just makes me cry;
If this pig had wings, then it still wouldn’t fly,
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
Did youfall for the baseless lie
That we had some cunning plan to try
When David Davis told us so?
Or did you search high and low in vain
For optimism in ‘Remain’?
And can you teach me which way I should go?
Well, I know that it was meant to be
Blindsiding UKIP’s strategy;
You all told loads of stories
Just to save the Tories
Bye bye to your pie in the sky
It was funny at first now it just makes me cry;
If this pig had wings, then it still wouldn’t fly,
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
Now for three years we’ve been trying to leave
For the brave new world that we half-believe
But, that’s not how it’s going to be
What you really need when you’re deep in shit
Is a Frenchman who can’t stand a Brit
And a drunk in charge of all you see
And Cameron has flounced away
And chucked the ball to Mrs May
Who just drew up some red lines
To push us to the deadlines
And Corbyn read a book on Marx
In his allotment in the park
Evading signals in the dark
The day we lost the plot
So Bye bye to your pie in the sky
It was funny at first now it just makes me cry;
If this pig had wings, then it still wouldn’t fly,
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
Helter skelter go the pound and stocks
When you’ve got Grayling, Gove and Fox
Saying things that sound half pissed;
You couldn’t make this up, it seems
Each party trapped by its extremes,
And the centre quite unable to resist
Now the London air was sweet and twee
And perfumed by the ERG
But once we cleared the fog
All we found was some Rees-Mogg
Then some Irish bloke with a funny name
Threw spanners in the whole damn game;
Do you recall the Backstop blame
The day we lost the plot
So Bye bye to your pie in the sky
It was funny at first now it just makes me cry;
If this pig had wings, then it still wouldn’t fly,
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
Oh, and there we were all in one hole
A generation on the dole
And no time left to start again.
So come on, Arlene tell us what to do
When you’ve forced your agenda through
We’re used to it, and we can take the pain.
Oh and as I watched the months all fade
To dust, and our goodwill degrade
It turned out no one wants our trade
The day we lost the plot
So Bye bye to your pie in the sky
It was funny at first now it just makes me cry;
If this pig had wings, then it still wouldn’t fly,
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
I met a girl who found too late
Of delays and tariffs on her freight
But she just smiled and moved to France
And I stood in the airport queue
And watched the others moving through
Whilst I stood in line just waiting for my chance
And in the streets the children came
And saw what happened in their name;
The plans had all been rumbled,
The cookie truly crumbled;
And the people who should take the poo
Like Jez and Dave and Boris, too
They’ll be fine, and they’ll blame you
The day we lost the plot
Bye bye, you have no more to lose
You were caught in a trap of the fakest of news
It’s a brave new world, but no one knows whose
And the Chinese will still sell us shoes
Yes the Chinese will buy all our booze.
We started singing
Bye bye to your pie in the sky
It was funny at first now it just makes me cry;
If this pig had wings, then it still wouldn’t fly,
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
Wouldn’t even get its arse in the sky
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