My great-great grandfather was a Duke, a fact I thought I’d sneak out there before I got famous, and people accused him of giving me a...

One of the ironies of far left politics is just how much money you have to have in your life in order to be there in the first place....

On the basis that you should always shoot the crocodile nearest your boat, the immediate problem I needed to deal with was hunger. I was...

These are bleak days one way or another, so it is good to find solace where you may. ‘The wonderful news, ‘ as Billy Graham ceaselessly...

Dear Jezza I’ve been thinking. Dangerous, I know, but I have. And what I’ve been thinking is about making a bold political move to the...

You never understand what you have lost until it has gone. Most of us have forgotten how, when the world was younger and more carefree,...

They say you can’t but, believe me, you can. There are authors, painters, sculptors, rock groups and god knows who else who manage little...

Dear Assistant Chief Constable I hope that you and Mrs. Assistant Chief Constable are able to enjoy a lovely weekend in the first of the...

Clearly, we need to dial up some more bandwidth. For the last few months we have all been behind the curve vis-à-vis the low hanging...

Everything before ‘but’ is bollocks. Dan taught me that. Dan was a Canadian major attached to my battalion in Hong Kong in 1980, and he...

With apologies to Don Mclean, and the most brilliant song ever written Long long time ago I can still remember when Mr Cameron had a...

Saving Planet Earth (the Home Counties way) ‘Somebody had to change the world, and obviously I was the one for the job.’ My words? No,...

D Dear Assistant Chief Constable, Further to my letter of the 8th January, I have now completed the speed awareness course you kindly...

A VERY BRITISH CRIME I did my bit yesterday, and ruined a criminal’s day. No, please! Anyone would have done the same. The crime I foiled...

Dear Assistant Chief Constable, Happy New Year to you, too. I hope you and Mrs. Constable were able to relax. Thank you for your letter...

My mind wanders during carol concerts. This year, it wandered into the realms of Cherubim and Seraphim. They get a good puff throughout...

I certainly stole it. I know that to be a fact for about four reasons, the first of which is that I have never bought an umbrella in my...

It’s all John Lewis’ fault, of course, and people don’t like that. A decade of those weepy Christmas ads has put a tiresome qualification...

I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night. I didn’t really. What I actually dreamed was that I had been selected to bat for England, but that...

In 1983, I was banned for life from Hockley Golf Club south of Winchester. Long story, and I don’t think, on reflection, that any of us...